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I don't feel sorry for Jayson Alexander, even though he got unceremoniously dumped by Britney Spears after "great" wedding night sex. Fortune smiled upon him and dropped a once-in-a-lifetime fortune right in his lap, and he was too fricken stupid to take advantage of it.

No, not because he got to bang Britney. Because he could have negotiated. Her lawyers probably pounced on him within 24 hours, and intimidated him into signing an annulment. He was probably too stupid and starstruck and in love to do any different, but who knows what kind of financial deal he could have wrung out of them if hadn't been such a blubbering, pathetic wuss. Hell, he probably even signed away his right to pen a best-seller: My 55-Hour Marriage to Britney.