Cynical Nation

My wife and I were walking through New York City the other night, discussing the upcoming election, when the absurdity of the whole thing sort of hit us at once. Here we are, the two of us, voting for different candidates. In both cases, we're voting for a candidate we don't particularly like, while becoming more and more convinced that the other guy will win. Ohio looks blue and Hawaii looks red. Bizarro world. This is not your run-of-the-mill election year.

So does this mean I'm predicting a Kerry win? I think that's too strong. It's more accurate to say that I'm expecting a Kerry win. Maybe it's just an effort not to get my hopes up, but I'm putting my money where my mouth is. Last week I bought 100 contracts on "President Kerry" through TradeSports (before their price starting declining, dammit!) Anyway, I apologize to my friends on the Right to whom this seems treacherous. But see, this way I am guaranteed to have cause for celebration on Tuesday night. Either Bush gets reelected, or I make a tidy pile of cash! Why not?

I cannot call this race! On the one hand, the polls look ominously like 2000. On the other hand, the political landscape looks more like 1972. On the third hand, the candidates themselves are more reminiscent of 1988. Who the hell knows?

To me the race still looks like a toss-up. I caution my fellow conservatives not to get cocky, but I see no reason for the Kerry team to be overconfident either. I do hope, like many others, that no matter who wins, it won't be close. The worst possible outcome of this election for me would be another four years of recriminations, lawyering, and charges of electoral theft.

Either way, I will be right here on Election Night, enjoying the fun and drinking heavily. I hope you will join me.