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I swear

Sometimes posters at DU come so close to self-parody that you almost suspect they're actually trolls:

I woke up this morning tingling from excitement over the possibility of indictments; my partner said I had been tossing and turning all night. He too is on edge.

This is too much to bear. If there aren't any indictments I will feel positively suicidal! I'll need to resurrect my post-election support group at the Y. This is gonna be a long 24 hours. Oh God!