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Won't someone please think of the children?

Presumably because we've solved every other societal ill, some dick-brain named Mark Pollock (heh) has launched a crusade to ban those little silver balls that people put on "holiday" cookies this time of year. Supposedly they're inedible, or some damn thing. Of course I've eaten approximately an infinity of the things over the course of my life, including as recently as last week. Oh well.


See, Barry, liberals won't judge you just because you like to eat balls. As long as the balls consent to be eaten, we consider it to be your own business.

All it takes is ONE INSTANCE of getting those things mixed up with Crossman silver BBs, and it's dental woes for the rest of your life.

Or, conversely, a real bitch of a a job breaking down and cleaning your Red Ryder.

I have to admit that I found this (from the LA Times story) rather amusing:

"The counsel said, 'Well, it's sold clearly as a decoration, not a confection. People don't eat it.' And I said, 'Come on!' And he said, 'No, people don't eat it.' And I said, 'I'll call you back in a half hour.'

"I took the dragées and I went across the street to the Superior Court and into the chambers of all six of the Superior Court judges. I showed them the jar. I came back, called counsel on the phone and said, 'I just went across the street. I did a straw poll of all the judges in my county, and every one of them has eaten these things. And one of them, I won't tell you which one, always picks the dragées off the cookies and eats them first. Now, you decide which judge you want to be in front of to make the defense argument that no one eats them.' And he said, 'Oh.' "

I have seriously never even seen these things before. Are they really real?

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