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Postponing elections

Having stolen one election, will they postpone the next?

Exactly 140 years after Lincoln insisted that postponing a federal election was a bigger threat to democracy than a Civil War that had already claimed hundreds of thousands of lives, Homeland Security czar Tom Ridge asked the Justice Department's Office of Legal Counsel to review Soaries' scheme to, well, put democracy under house arrest.
But a few wacky lawyers and Bush appointees won't let a dry piece of parchment like the Constitution scuttle their Machiavellian ambitions. Instead of encouraging the American people to be defiant in the face of threats to our system, the Bush administration wants to suspend the democratic process until the terrorist threat has passed: "If you vote, the terrorists win," they insist.

Blast! You have stumbled across our sinister plan!

Ah well, no matter! I may as well explain it to you, since you are powerless to prevent its completion. And you can forget about being rescued by Michael Moore, or Randi Rhodes, or any other alliteratively named superheroes out there! This lair is guarded by the most sophisticated security measures that Halliburton can design!

Our plan has succeeded splendidly up until this point. America's representative form of government hangs by a thread. A few more weeks of a compliant news media is all we shall need to sever that thread and install George W. Bush as dictator for life! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

Gimme a break with the tin foil hat crap, Tony.