The truly controversial issues of the day
Guess what? The most frenzied commenting activity on my blog of late has been on this two-year-old post in which I suggested that Dolly Parton might be a satanist.
I thought I got hate mail during the 2004 election, but it all pales in comparison to Dolly. Here are a couple of samples.
YOUR A BITCH FUCK YOU DICK HEAD! I LOVE DOLLY! DOLLY IS QUEEN! OOO I'M GOIN' TO HELL 'CAUSE I LOVE DOLLY! YEAH RIGHT! I LOVE ALL PEOPLE... WELL ALL BUT PISS HEADS LIKE YOUR SELF... YOUR A FUCKIN ASSHOELE... YOU NEED TO SERIOUSLY GET A LIFE... AND READ THE BIBLE!!! "LEAST THOU JUDGE AND LEAST THOU BE JUDGED!"RINGIN' ANY BELLS???? YEAH SO FUCK OFF AND GET A FUCKIN LIFE!!!!
Right. And this.
you know what this song says backwards... you are a fuckin dick head la la la... retard no one likes you you full of SHIT and you need to go eat cow shit byotch
Anyway, check out the thread. There are 57 of them altogether, as well as some great photographs of Dolly herself. Meanwhile, I'm going to avoid the hot button issues of the day and stick to safer topics like Iraq.
Comments
Wow, the comments that they left are terrible. The person who wrote that stuff is most certainly deranged. Are you sure it was not Ann Coulter or something? You have been too critical of her on your blog and maybe she decided to go after you? :)
Posted by: Blue Wind | July 17, 2007 10:14 PM
>Are you sure it was not Ann Coulter or something? You have been too critical of her on your blog and maybe she decided to go after you? :)
I really don't think so. I've told Ann repeatedly that the night we shared at GOP-con 2004 was an alcohol fueled mistake. I think the restraining order finally helped her get the message.
Posted by: BNJ | July 17, 2007 10:23 PM
YOU NEED TO SERIOUSLY GET A LIFE... AND READ THE BIBLE!!! "LEAST THOU JUDGE AND LEAST THOU BE JUDGED!"
LOL, I especially like the quote.
Posted by: CRB | July 17, 2007 10:24 PM
WoW!
Judging by her fans, Dolly Parton really IS a satanist!.....And a GOOD ONE!!!
Not to mention one crazy-hot bitch....AND, I might add, #37 of "The 1001 Women I'd Most Like to Bone" - a coffee table book (Simon & Schuster) due out for the upcoming Festivus Season!
DISCLAIMER:
None of the above was meant to offend Dolly Parton (a/k/a "The Beast 666") or any of her fans (known as Legion).
And for the record, I think Satanism is just another sexual deviancy that we must all learn to accept and tolerate.
Yours truly Beelzebub (just call me Bub)
Posted by: JMK | July 17, 2007 11:10 PM
Yep, she's the devil's concubine, all right. I'm sure she can go down on ol' Nick with the best of 'em.
Posted by: BNJ | July 17, 2007 11:13 PM
That and this, completely made my day yesterday.
Posted by: K | July 18, 2007 07:27 AM
>Yep, she's the devil's concubine, all right. I'm sure she can go down on ol' Nick with the best of 'em.
Okay, now you're just asking for trouble. :-)
Posted by: K | July 18, 2007 07:29 AM
Wow, how do they train them to do that?
Posted by: BNJ | July 18, 2007 08:59 AM
BNJ said: "Wow, how do they train them to do that?"
Forget about it Barry. It's Denmark.
Just go home -- I'm doing you a favor.
Posted by: withoutfeathers | July 18, 2007 09:51 AM
I've heard that Satanists actually despise rabbits, almost as much as they do dogs, because they're two species that are always "so eager to please humans."
When a Satanist has a "pet," it's usually something interesting, not to mention wholly uninterested in pleasing humans, like a baboon, or a 20 foot reticulated python, or a pack of hyenas, or even a giant salt water Croc.
On a related note, I once tried to stuff a five foot Gaboon viper into Dolly's mailbox (it's a pretty big mailbox) and all I got for my efforts (I almost got tagged by the serpent twice) was a court-ordered restraining order. I'm not supposed to come within 200 yards of Dolly now.
That's one of the things ya gotta love about Satanists, Trying to make them happy, doesn't make them happy at all.
Posted by: JMK | July 18, 2007 10:18 AM
My Funkin Wagnalls sheds no light on the meaning of "bustle" -other than the obvious ones. Mountain folks still use some archaic words tho' I think I'll be up half the night tracking the answer down. Damn you, Dolly! (Oh she already is, isn't she.)
Posted by: Paul Moore | July 18, 2007 04:16 PM
I...words fail me.
Posted by: Adam | July 18, 2007 05:07 PM
JMK said: "That's one of the things ya gotta love about Satanists, Trying to make them happy, doesn't make them happy at all."
Are you calling my wife a Satanist?
Posted by: withoutfeathers | July 18, 2007 10:41 PM
Well, their spelling and grammar are atrocious, but other than that...
Posted by: DBK | July 19, 2007 10:09 AM
"JMK said: "That's one of the things ya gotta love about Satanists, Trying to make them happy, doesn't make them happy at all." (JMK)
"Are you calling my wife a Satanist? (WF)
I think that's an ancillary trait WF, but then again, it could be one of those "chickens and the egg" things - maybe that's how it starts.
Posted by: JMK | July 19, 2007 02:37 PM
I keep clicking on the link hoping for more Dolly-Madness, but sadly, nothing.
Posted by: K | July 27, 2007 08:51 AM
I keep clicking on the link hoping that more has been added. Alas, the Dolly fans seem to have a short attention span.
Posted by: K | July 27, 2007 01:21 PM
Well, you could add your own, I guess.
Posted by: BNJ | July 27, 2007 01:38 PM